The Op-Ed (Oprah Edited)

September 8, 2014 — Leave a comment

OPED“Drew! Grande Americano!”

I skipped up to the counter to claim my caffeine. But just as I was about take my first sip, I spotted something on the java jacket—a quote from the former Queen of Daytime TV, Oprah Winfrey.

I usually like quotes, but this one was bad—a dreadful cliché masquerading as wisdom. My half-wakened brain reeled. I had a dilemma: go without a java jacket and burn my hand or contemplate Oprah’s “wisdom” all morning. A classic first world problem, you might say. But hey, suffering is suffering.

And my suffering increased. As the weeks passed, Starbucks continued printing Oprah quotes trumpeting a Disneyfied gospel of self-actualization. Then I realized that the solution was right in front of me. Oprah’s quotes weren’t that bad; they just needed a little editing. And guess what I do for a living? I edit stuff! So I applied my craft to make Oprah’s life lessons less grandiose and (hopefully) a little more biblical.

See the edited java jackets at PARSE.

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drewdyck

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Drew Nathan Dyck is an acquisitions editor at Moody Publishers and a senior editor at CTPastors.com. He's the author of Yawning at Tigers (2014) and Generation Ex: Christian (2010)

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